Of Rules, Discipline, and Doing the Right Thing

Untitled, originally uploaded by B.Riordan..

I can't believe how much neglected this blog is.  I've been gone from here for so long that I almost forgot my sign-in details hahaha!  Anyway, I hope that I am back for good from my long hiatus.

What's up with Brewed Coffee these days?  Dealing with the real world, that's what I have been doing during the interim.  The real world of course is comprised mostly of work, work, and work.  I have learned through the years how to deal with mounds of work load.   Deadlines and truck full of tasks don't scare me out of my wits anymore.  But dealing with problematic people in the workplace is really taking a toll on my heart and emotional health.  

Discipline in the workplace is something I highly value.  It's not like I'm a drill sergeant, but I expect people to behave accordingly and follow simple company rules and guidelines.  But I can be very, very strict when it comes to safety protocols.  And so I have given a handful of people a taste of the dark, strong Brewed Coffee.  I felt like Bugs Bunny saying " I speak softly....but I carry a big stick!"  In my case, I'm more like carrying a big pot of boiling coffee.  Just humoring myself there. 

It's one thing to be disciplining people under you, but it's another thing when you find out, people from your own rank are breaking the rules.  That got me really frustrated for a time.  It got me thinking also if I am the only one trying to do the right thing.  I thought I was fighting a good battle, only to find out I had no good back-up.  That's like looking back, seeing people cheering you on but they're not making any moves.  That stopped me from my tracks.  It's definitely time to re-assess my situation.  

All in all, I have learned valuable lessons.  That's what I like about this whole experience.  It has taught me to be calm, yes to speak softly even if I am on the verge of whacking someone in the head.  Sometimes, I still wonder if that would have served the person better than my lengthy sermons.  Evil thoughts hahaha!  Scrap that out.  I've learned also, and still learning to control my emotions, being the jumpy type that I am, sometimes.  Oh alright then, most of the time I am jumpy.  But the best thing about this whole thing is, I know that I am somehow planting seeds, hopefully the good seeds of discipline.

I know myself better now, the things I am capable of doing, and recognizing that there are some things that are really out of my hands.  One thing is for sure...I will not stop doing what is right, even if no one's looking and I'm the only person left who would do the right thing.  

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On Prayer

If we've ever needed You..., originally uploaded by kelsey_lovefusionphoto.

I have just been to the company clinic early this morning at half past 6am to have my blood pressure checked. It's been going haywire for three weeks now and I suspect, it has been like that for even longer. It shoots up to as high as 160/100, going down to only as low as 120/80. If I am probably in my 50's, I wouldn't wonder and would probably accept it as age, lifestyle and genes finally catching up on me. But I am still a long way off from that! It's too soon, even if it runs in the family. What I find harder to accept is that I have always thought I am fit.  To be proven wrong by those two numbers is something that can be really frustrating.

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Just Some Sentimental Thoughts....

girl with coffee, originally uploaded by lotzmana.

I wish life were just as simple as having a nice cup of coffee on a lazy day.  And yet, even as my schedule is not that hectic and I do have time to enjoy my morning brew, it's not as calm and relaxing as it looks.  My head spins with lots of thoughts lately.  Family stuff, my own personal stuff, work and things in between.  Sometimes, I wonder if I think too much...but a better question is, am I thinking of worthy stuff?  I suppose, sometimes, I do...hehehe.  

I find my thoughts are mostly driven by my emotional responses.  Like lately, I am saddened about the prospects of losing some of my good staff.  Well, that's life.  You cannot hold them forever as they embark on a different career path, or simply a different working environment.  I have always told my staff to be honest with me, no surprises whatsoever as I don't like the kind of surprises that leave me fumbling at work. A proper turn over should be in order.  It's always my principle that you don't hold good people by the collar...you let them fly and become even better at what they choose to do. 

I probably just suck at goodbyes.  Sometimes, I hate goodbyes, because usually, I am the one left behind.  Tough luck. I've had a lot of colleagues who are good friends and who have already left the company for the proverbial "greener pastures."  I realize, it isn't so tough to see people go if you don't like those people.  But if you've grown attached to them, sometimes treating them already as second family, then somehow, it kind of rips you up somewhere inside.  Maybe it's just the sentimental person in me...but I do know how to let go whenever I have to.  


Meanwhile, sentimental as I am, I manage to stay collected and composed.  I am not the wailing kind hehehe.  I try to make the matter as light as possible.  I seldom cry in front of anyone.  I guess it's partly my pride and I have always reservations about pouring out my emotions.  There are probably only a handful of people in this whole wide world who have had the privilege or the misfortune of seeing me break down and cry on extremely rare occasions.  Outside, I am tough as nails. 

Life is indeed full of comings and goings, of hellos and goodbyes...I guess, we just have to appreciate the in-betweens while we have the chance. 

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Ouchy Ouch!

Looking for her happy place, originally uploaded by cheryl.dudley.

I was preparing to go to church yesterday when I felt this slight pain in my tummy. I thought it was nothing but the pain keeps getting more intense every time. It's like being jabbed in the stomach. Glad that the pain is not a continuous one as I would probably pass out. But it did leave me unable to do much except to lie down and let the pain subside. I could not take any pain medication as I have not had breakfast yet. And taking anything would have been futile at that time because I felt like I would just throw it up anyway. So there I was at 9:30 am, trying to nurse myself by trying to sleep. It wasn't easy doing so in the first few hours but either I passed out or just fell asleep finally. I woke up four hours later, feeling refreshed...revived.

Before I closed my eyes, I was thinking what if I needed to be hospitalized? How in the world would I go? I am all alone, can't possibly call my mom who lives miles away. I was too weak to even call for help. In those situations, I suppose the only thing for me to do is pray and hope the pain will pass. It's not a life threatening situation, I suppose but it sure would have been better if I had someone with me that time. But then again, I did have the best One with me that time...the best healer there is.

I was able to go to church later in the afternoon, after I had my very very late breakfast and lunch at 2:30 pm. No more tummy aches.

    

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Thoughts on the Recent Tsunami in Japan

The recent tsunami in Japan made me remember the terrible flood brought about by typhoon Ondoy more than a year ago.  It was a Saturday and rains started coming in before noon.  We waited out hoping the emerging flood would subside but come late afternoon, the flood was still not subsiding.  I was able to go home the following day already and what a terrible time for those living in low lying areas.  I live on the upper floors so no problem with my things.  But those in the lower floors, you could see the anguish and frustration at losing their valuables.  But this experience pales a hundred times over to the tsunamis that hit Southeast Asia in 2004 and just recently, that of Japan.

I don't know how to swim so naturally, I get the jitters when I see plenty of water creeping in at a fast pace.  I wonder how I'd feel if the tsunami hits us instead of Japan.  A country that is so well-equipped is still no match for the fury of nature.  What more for us who are still backwards in terms of infrastructure?  I asked myself if I was ready....not to swim as there is no escaping that...but ready to die. 

I also remember that scene in the movie "Deep Impact."  Father and daughter just went out on the beach, hugged each other and braced themselves as the massive waves struck.  Could I have that sense of calm, that even if the waves engulf me, I will not go scurrying, running, screaming?  These are the questions that go in my mind.

I feel for the Japanese people.  Their anguish I cannot fathom as they try to get on their feet and look around after the devastation.  I could gawk over and over at the videos showing the raging waters and cars and houses being swept away, but the shock is nothing compared to actually being there and seeing things and experiencing the calamity first hand.  It must be surreal as it feels like something from a movie scene, only that you are one of the actors.  As the waves come in, there is also a tremendous wave of panic inside.  I'm sure that is what I would probably feel at first.  After that, I don't know anymore. 

Here is clip of the devastating tsunami in  Japan almost a week ago (March 11).  Question is, are we ready to face such dangers if ever?  But if we have God in us, we can even welcome the waves with open arms.  I suppose, that is the safest place I could think of, to be in His arms.

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When the Going Gets Tough

SMERSH@Lloyd, originally uploaded by Ramona.Forcella.

What do they say about when things get kind of difficult? Ah yes, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

I've been pondering lately if I am tough enough to keep up with the tasks at hand. I guess, in my training at work, giving up is not an option, no matter how difficult the tasks maybe. I've been given impossible assignments at work. Sometimes, I don't even have the slightest idea how to go about those tasks, but once I accept a task, I see it right to the end, bruises, scratches, and all.

I have learned early on that when you sign up for something, you can't just bail out in the middle of a project or a task and say you've had enough or you can't continue with it anymore because of so many reasons. It just doesn't give a good reflection of one's self. I guess that's why they give a funny name to it...chickening out.

My father also set me a good example about keeping one's word. If you say you'll do something, do it with all that you've got. One never backs down from what he says, even if it means you have to roll over dirt and dust just to be able to deliver what you promised.

In every task and assignment we take on, there will surely be problems along the way. Those who choose to hurdle obstacles and commit to achieving the goal no matter what happens is what separates an achiever to those who shy away from challenges and responsibilities and therefore live a life of mediocrity.

A good question to ask one's self when faced by overwhelming tasks is this: Are you ready to ride the waves or will you just stay on the shore stay safe but miss out on all the fun?

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On Writing Challenges

Daily Transgressions, Day 279 of 365, originally uploaded by DieselDemon.

As of this time, I have three more articles to write for Triond's February specials. I have already qualified for the minimum quota of five articles for the selected sites. But I am taking a personal challenge and see if I can write twenty, not so much as aiming for the 30% added revenue. That is an infinitesimal amount. I probably wouldn't even see a significant increase in my total earnings. This is more of stretching myself as a writer.

Honestly though, as the deadline nears, I couldn't write very lengthy articles anymore. Hahaha I have resorted to the show and tell method, that is of providing pictures and videos and telling something about it. In a way, it makes the presentation more appealing with all the visuals. But then, the content is trimmed down significantly. Sometimes, that happens. But I hope I have not sacrificed the content so much by publishing nonsensical posts. I think I did on one but the site is for fun things anyway. So I was just having fun there.

Three more to go. Will I make it? I hope so. If not, I should not be too hard on myself. After all, life is like that. We make goals and take on challenges but sometimes, there are other factors that could prevent us from reaching those goals in time. What's important is that I took the challenge and tried the best I could. It's the journey that matters...more than the destination itself

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140/100

That's my current blood pressure.  Quite high at my age.  They are right about high blood pressure being a silent killer.  I didn't feel any different.  Or maybe, the changes may have been so subtle for me to notice.  It's a wake up call for me to once again review my lifestyle.  My biggest culprit so far, from my view, is the food I eat.  I have been keen on having fruits and veggies but I think I'm not having enough of those.  Plus the fact that I eat out several times in a week.

I took the first step today, as advised by the doctor who examined me yesterday.  So this morning, I had blood drawn from me for blood chemistry.  That's to check for FBS (fasting blood sugar), lipid (cholesterol content, I guess)  and other two tests.  I'll know the results later this afternoon.  No medications prescribed yet.  And I have no intention of having maintenance medicine so I really have to be serious about the lifestyle change I am embarking on.

My goal is to maintain my blood pressure at 110/70 mm Hg.  Tough, but knowing my risks, I have to do something or I won't reach my other goal...to be a centenarian! 

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Goofy Me

At Tai ji class,we're all into preparations for our upcoming presentation on the 27th.  It's a yearly affair where all the martial arts students converge and perform.  The last two Thursdays, I've sort of been the center of distraction hahaha!  My partner has not been around and we're at the center of the formation.  So, to resolve the problem and since we're still learning the new moves, my partner is our Lao Shi (teacher / coach).  Indeed, sometimes I am fumbling to learn the moves and a bit of pressure in there as coach keeps correcting my moves and a lot of times, I simply goof off.  I know that because I would see my classmates either looking on quite confused or giggling.  Oh but we're all actually confused and coach says it's a good thing.  Because after all the confusion, it would become clearer.  I just hope he stops from changing moves every now and then, so we can all go to memorizing the moves already.

I'm not used to having our coach so near.  I've always been uncomfortable when he teaches us then lets us do the moves and he watches on.  I tend to make mistakes early on.  But am surprised that am not nervous at all this time.  I simply follow his lead.  I guess it's also the atmosphere of the class.  We're already like family.  And our coach is the most patient teacher I have ever encountered in my entire learning.  You will rarely or never see him get impatient. Plus the fact that he always smiles and tells us funny stories sometimes. 

So even if I am at the center and goofing off, it's a fun experience.  But still, I am nervous about the presentation itself...heaven help me...

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Skipped Class

I skipped Taiji class last night.  Bad, bad.... I was actually on my way, and was expecting I would be there on time because I left the house 1.5 hours before the start of class.  I thought there was ample time for travel.  Was wrong though.  It rained about 15 minutes after I got a ride.  And then the worst possible thing, a heavy traffic ensued.  It took me an hour to get to the first stop when it normally takes just 30 minutes or less.  There was no way anymore that I could reach class on time so I decided to just go back.  Well, Taiji class is for me to relax and unwind.  How is that possible if I am already harassed just going to class?  I just don't like running for class and wet in the rain....No more of that.  That has happened more than twice already.  This Thursday, I will just leave even earlier.  That way, even if I'm caught up on traffic, I will still make it on time. 

I missed a class...but at least I prevented myself from being more agitated by the traffic.  Less stress...much better.  I just rested.  Sometimes you have to learn to give up on some things.

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Finishing the Race

Was it the music?  Or is it the analogy in my own life that made tears fall?  We've all fallen down so many times in our lives.  Sometimes we wonder if we still have the strength to stand up and finish the race.  One thing I know...we never give up on life until we breathe our last...

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